Not too long ago God broke my heart when He denied a prayer I had prayed with great faith. Not only had he denied the prayer, but the answer we received was unjust and horrifically painful. What do we do when we feel betrayed by God?
Because He could, and in my (insignificant) estimation, He should.
But He didn’t.
As I was studying Matthew 2 recently, the study of the magi stuck me in a new way. As they arrived in Jerusalem asking for the the “King of the Jews,” I wonder at the stir they created. There was so much chatter about this King, that even Herod caught the whispers, “Where is He? King of the Jews?”
A King? A star? Here? Now?
Certainly hopes were raised. The Israelites lived on land given to them by God, but now conquered and ruled by Rome. Was this King the expected Savior? Was he here to overthrow Rome?
As rumors spread about the King, perhaps the Israelites dared to hope. They knew the miraculous stories of Noah and Abraham, Joseph and Moses. They knew that God could…
But as they sat with bated breath … He didn’t.
While the Magi slipped through Herod’s fingers, “Herod…sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were 2 years old and under.
Can we sit in this grief for a minute?
With a broken heart, it’s here I might throw in the towel. But then I remember when I took up my anger with God at my own broken heart.
The truth is, God is the God of the unexpected, both the unexpected that delights and the unexpected that disappoints.
He is the God over healthy babies and sunsets, clear scans and job promotions. But He is also the God over disabilities and car accidents, persecution and loved ones lost too soon.
How are we to balance the weight of this juxtaposition?
While I still pray with purpose and hope with expectancy, now my only expectation is incarnation. Presence. Emmanuel. God with me.
Comfort.
Peace.
Strength.
Remember, through every delight and disappointment, He is good…
and He is the only good we truly need!
“But for me it is good to be near God.” (Psalm 73:28)
On Sundays I Rest
[…] In Acts 3:20, Peter tells the Israelites to return to God, “that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” I love the definition of refreshing. According to Strong’s lexicon, refreshing means to “recover breath, take the air, cool off, revive.” Yet refreshment obviously won’t come as we race from store-to-store, or work to curate an entire month of pinterest worthy moments. What does this scripture say? Refreshment comes from the presence of the Lord. […]